


Tell Me Why....

by ThatwasJustaDream



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Community: 1_million_words, M/M, Separations, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-19
Updated: 2013-03-02
Packaged: 2017-11-29 20:07:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/690934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatwasJustaDream/pseuds/ThatwasJustaDream
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny breaks it off with Steve after nearly a year together. It's brutal for them both. Danny has his reasons, but he won't share them with Steve - and that's when things get complicated...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written in the form of comment fics, for the Word of the Day prompts at the 1_million_Words community on LiveJournal.

**Green, Red and Very Blue**

Danny’s gonna have to look up the derivation of 'green with envy' because he knows it’s red he’s turning, he can feel it. He stays in his office, futzes with papers the whole time Steve introduces his date to Kono and Chin.

Steve’s voice coming closer sends his blood pressure plummeting. He’s not _really_ bringing mister six foot two, eyes of blue, Captain Goddamned America in to say ‘hi’? _Please_ no…

Steve’s alone when he ducks his head in. 

“I’m sorry.”

He looks it.

“I swear, Danno, I told him I’d meet him at…”

“It’s okay. Really.”

“Danny,” Steve’s voice is plea to look him in the eye and it’s crushingly painful, hearing that little edge of something personal in there after weeks of clipped, polite and professional. It’s harder than anything that’s happened since Danny made the Worst Decision Ever.

“I know, I know,” Danny looks over at him as long as he can, a couple of seconds. “I broke it off. I don’t get to freak out over this. First time was bound to be a bitch, that’s all.”

“Have a good weekend, okay?” Steve steps back out and Danny waits until the door’s shut. 

“Not fucking likely.”

~~~~~

**And that ain’t good…**

“You got a better look at him. What do you think? Does he pitch or catch?”

Danny’s eyes were out the window as he asked it, watching Vegas float into view. Sleek, glittery, yellow, silver and bronze – and hopefully mind-numbing. His brain was locked in a nightmarish loop of images.

“I couldn’t say,” Chin deadpanned from the aisle seat. “I’m not familiar with the ways of your people.”

“Ha, ha. Very funny.”

Danny turned and saw both the little grin on Chin’s face and the concern there, too. He huffed out an ‘I know, I’m obsessing’ sound.

“Thanks for this. Really nice of you to spend your free time on me. With Grace out of town and…. how’d you get cheap tickets so fast?”

“Frequent flier miles. This airline has a hell of a Vegas deal, too. They…”

“Steve wouldn’t… on a first date. You don’t think he’d…”

Chin winced.

“Do you want the truth this weekend, Danny, or comforting words?”

“The truth.”

“Thing is, it’s not a first date. More like their third date.”

Chin’s low chuckle at the look washing over Danny’s face was full of empathy. 

“Oh, buddy you have it bad. Hang in there. We’ll be on the strip soon.”

~~~~~~

**Irresistible and… Why Shouldn’t I?**

Alistair Jameson is a lawyer, so - no. But, he’s an environmental lawyer, and champion for Oceania habitats around the world. That’s _awesome_ and, well, so... maybe.

Alistair knows what he wants. And their work lives will never collide.

He’s smart but self-effacing, a hiker/surfer with a strong body and a graceful stride. Add sandy blonde hair that begs for your fingers in it, a voice that sounds all deeply Bowie when he murmurs and Jude Law when he laughs and …holy hell.

“How long ago was your breakup?” Alistair asks. 

Steve knew that question was coming.

“Three months ago. After ten months together.” 

Steve sees him flinch, nod, knows that look: 'kind of soon, maybe.'

Their table at House Without a Key is outdoors, off to one side, with room to pull close together and watch the sweet, orange ‘Aloha Friday’ sunset. Alistair booked it, makes good use of their relative privacy to reach in for kisses; some quick and light, others teasingly deep; a hint of sliding, seeking tongue with a nip and a sigh.

“Clean break? ‘Cause if there’s someone here in town hoping things’ll work out, I can’t…”

“No,” Steve shifts in his chair. “There’s not. He made that clear.”

“Then come home with me,” Alistair leans, the lips against Steve’s ear curling upward when Steve shivers. “Please?”

 

~~~ TBC~~


	2. Black and White-Hot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny doesn't go overboard. Steve goes for it. Things get _more_ complicated.

**(Nothing's Ever) Black and White**

Chin and Danny stood by the Bellagio pond enjoying cool, pre-dawn desert air, watching drunken revelers dance and teeter on the ledge forty yards away.

“There they go, there they…” Chin flinched. “Go.”

Eight partiers tumbled into the water, sending happy shrieks into the sky.

“Ugh. That’s pigeon poop soup right there,” Danny said, chewing on a cigar as he did. “Listeria with a side of botulism.”

“I thought _you_ might run amuck tonight?”

“’Nah,” Danny shrugged. “I’m too young to act my age... too old to think getting stupid will solve anything.”

Chin looked ready to ask him something, and Danny stopped him.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to take the festivities down a notch. We walked all the way up here to play cards, right?”

They headed for the hotel in silence, until Danny broke it.

“I know everyone thinks I’m an idiot for walking on him,” he shook his head when Chin started to object. “It’s okay. I can suck it up. But … nothing’s ever black and white, babe. Why am I telling you? You know that. S’our freaking line of expertise, right?”

“Yeah,” Chin nodded, gave Danny’s shoulder a squeeze. “I know. It’ll be okay.”

“God, I hope so.” Danny said. 

The walk back to their hotel at 6:00 a.m. wasn’t quite so orderly.

“You … are the best wingman ever. I’m getting you a medal that says so. Engraved. Best. Wingman. Ever.” 

Danny was having a hard time lighting the stub that had been a cigar, and Chin was actually relieved to see him just about the right amount of messed up. Danny would sleep soon. Really sleep.

“To thank you for this trip, I’m sharing all my winnings…” Danny said once the Cubano was burning again. “Fity fity.”

“Awesome. If you remember that independently when you’re sober again,” Chin propped him up and pointed them right toward the Venetian. “We have a deal.”

~~~~~~~

**White-Hot**

Steve slipped into awareness, and a weird blend of relief and sorrow. The relief was an endorphin overdose. The sorrow felt suspiciously like guilt.

Alistair had gone gently _at_ Steve when he got him home, hands and mouth moving slow, light but somehow everywhere at once and it felt so good... so awesome to be touched, kissed, adored on, explored. Wanted.

They stood in the bedroom, breathing deep, their bodies rocking and rubbing, mouths sucking, tongues flicking, cocks bumping through pants then briefs then _Jesus, yes, finally…_

He was turning out to be a white-hot tease. Steve grabbed a handful of that hair, moved Alistair’s pretty head to one side and mouthed over his neck, his shoulder, and aww yes… right... _there_. 

Steve bit and Alistair shuddered, lost his rhythm, made a sound that said he'd knew he was the one about to be taken.

Two rounds later Steve was drifting off to sleep instead of going home.

He flipped over not long after dawn to see Alistair, night-snarled blonde hair and brown skin beautiful against the light eggshell sheets and pillows. His eyes popped open; sleepy, but looking like he’d already been half awake.

“Good morning, lovely liar…” Alistair quirked a grin when Steve’s face fell. “You talk in your sleep. Your ex is named Danny. You don’t know why he left you. And you are not over....”

“Aw hell…" Steve pinched the bridge of his nose, squinting hard. "I’m sorry. Listen just because I had a dream doesn’t mean I’m lying about being ready to try.”

“How about we not discuss this horizontally... and not ruin a really good buzz?”

Steve leaned in and kissed him, a non-verbal yes.

“You can take me to dinner tomorrow,” Alistair ran a hand over him. “Pick up the check- you know, to make up for whispering another man’s name so soon after mine. And I’ll make a case for why I’d be so very good for you.”

 

 

 


	3. Homeward Bound/Fourth Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chin and Danny head home. Steve answers a simple question and everything changes.

**Homeward Bound and Hating It**

Danny might have tied one on Friday night, but he was no worse for it Saturday, was more ‘up’ then Chin hoped for. They hit a show, a restaurant, dove into the casinos again.

His mood started visibly sinking again as they boarded their plane. 

“What’s your final tally?” Chin pulled out the safety card and flipped through it, eyes almost full of innocent intent. “How’d you do at the tables?”

“Won almost a grand,” Danny grinned then slumped, blushing, recalling a promise made in stumbling transit. “I won almost _half_ a grand. And so did you.”

“Forget it,” Chin said. “Just wanted to watch you remember that.”

Danny had pulled his phone out to shut it off, but a message on it made him frown. It was more proof the real world was weighing on him; he’d had that phone in his hand all day.

“Work?” Chin asked.

“No…” Danny keyed something in. “Rachel checking in to say Grace is good.”

“At four a.m.?" Chin asked. Aren’t they in London?”

A flicker of annoyance- of irritation with himself- flashed in Danny’s eyes. 

“No, they’re in New York. They went there first. They’re headed for London tomorrow.”

“Ah.”

“Tomorrow,” Danny said. “Monday. Sixteen hours ‘til work. Think I can call in sick?”

“It’ll be okay.”

“Will it?” Danny said. “’Cause I have a strong feeling it’s gonna _suck_.”

“That could happen, too.” Chin acknowledged.

~~~~~

**Fourth Dates are so Tricky**

They were kicked back at the Ala Moana Surfrider bar, and Steve half expected Alistair to really make that pitch. He didn’t. 

“You haven’t given up on me, too?” Steve nudged him. “On our fourth date?”

“Of course not. And you can tell me to drop it if you want, but I’ve had it on the brain all day; how does someone as tenacious as you…”

“Stubborn. You can say stubborn.”

That got a small smile out of Alistair, at least, but he still seemed very intent on looking at the ocean, the bar, anywhere but right at Steve.

“How does someone as stubborn as you walk away without getting the answer to ‘why?’ It obviously still hurts you, so…”

“’Cause all I got out of him were a thousand non-answers. ‘I can’t be in this right now’ and ‘sometimes there is no reason, I just have to walk.’ We fought – not bickering or bitching, we fought. And I couldn’t keep being that person, so pissed off all day every day. I had to let go a little. I thought if I did, he’d come around. He didn’t.”

“Is that just his way? When it’s over…”

“No, it’s not,” Steve heard himself getting wound up. “Danny doesn’t give up on _anyone_ – hell, on anything; a debate, a bar bet, weekend plans. Danny _doesn’t walk_. Oh my God…”

Alistair flinched at the look in Steve’s eyes, the way he seemed to be processing three things at once. Steve was staring right at him, but it wasn’t Alistair he was seeing – not at all.

“I was so busy being hurt, then angry…I didn’t ask the right questions.”

“You think something’s wrong?” 

“Not think. I know it.” Steve’s gaze focused and it was controlled panic with a side of ‘sorry you have to see this, babe.’ “Something’s very wrong.”


	4. Monday Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve confronts. Danny vents. Steps are taken to force an unraveling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to be a tease for those who want ANSWERS. But wow, it's hard to keep these @500 words.

“You are not putting me off.”

Steve leaned over Danny.

“Poor stubborn bastard,” Danny slouched in his chair. “Will you _accept_ …”

“I know something’s wrong. Drop the bullshit.”

“…that I’ve told you the truth over and…“

“Is it money? Gambling debts? Hell, Danny, are you sick?”

Danny looked up, and it was awful – so much worry in those eyes. He sat up, made Steve step back, and turned to his keyboard.

“Nice poker face, Danny.”

“Yeah, it got a workout all weekend, so…”

“Huh?”

“Chin sprung for a trip to Vegas so I wouldn’t dwell on you screwing Captain America.”

“He’s from England.”

Danny picked up the keyboard and slammed it down.

“Get out of my office, Steven.”

“Are you seriously gonna…”

“Why would you care?!” Danny shouted. “Listen, help me out ‘cause I have these _images_ in my head…”

“You’re stalling.”

“You can’t have done everything I’m picturing, so, help me _please_ discard some of them...”

“It’s worse to me that you’d lie, you know, worse than anything that could..…”

“Did you top him? Or did he fuck you?”

“Stop.”

“I’m guessing he’s a needy little bottom.”

“I _said_ stop…”

“He blow you? You pull his pretty hair ‘til he...”

“This isn’t you.”

“Sure it’s me. The me who told you how hard this is and then watched you get the hell over it in _twelve weeks_."

“I’m getting the answer,” Steve walked to the door. “Today – tomorrow. Soon. I will.”

Danny waited until the door shut to bang his head on the desk.

“Yes, please, God. Soon.”

~~~~

“That won’t happen again.” Steve pointed at Danny’s door, flinching at the sorrow on Kono’s face.

“No worries.” She whispered.

“Chin, got a sec?” Steve waited until they were in his office to ask. “I don’t want to put you in an uncomfortable place, but...you see anything odd with Danny this weekend?”

“We’re having this conversation for Danny’s sake. Right?”

“Absolutely.”

“Then yes. I noticed he didn’t get wasted, go overboard where most guys would. I didn’t think much of it until he lied to me.”

That got Steve’s attention. 

“He said he was on the phone texting with Grace - Sunday evening our time. Kono confirmed Grace was in London for that family wedding. No way she’d be on the phone with him at 4:00 a.m., right? He back peddled, claimed they were in New York.”

“Was he on the phone a lot?”

“Yes.”

Steve stayed silent and Chin decided to go there.

“I can’t believe I’m thinking it, either, but… I can order his phone records.”

“Do it.”

~~~~~

Alistair Jameson opened his door at 6:00pm to a very welcome sight.

“Didn’t think I’d see you today.” he waved Steve in. “Wasn’t sure when I might see you, honestly.”

“Hope you don’t mind?”

“What do you think?” He grinned as he kicked off sneakers, headed for the stairs. “Just back from a run. Make us drinks while I shower? It looks like you could use one.”

“Yeah,” Steve headed for the kitchen. “I sure could.”

~~ tbc~~


	5. The Truth Will Out

Dawn  
Steve stood over the bed, dressed to go. He put a hand on Alistair's shoulder and squeezed.

_“My odds of being more than rebound guy are eroding, I know. It’s okay… as long as we’re honest about it. You came here for distraction, comfort. So take them. No guilt.”_

He stretched and flipped over now.

“Hope your hunch is wrong. Maybe nothing’s going on with Danny at all.”

“Thanks,” Steve leaned in for a kiss. He had a tiny grin going by the time he stood back up. “Your motives behind that wish aren’t pure, are they?”

“Mostly pure,” Alistair flipped again, sank into his pillows. “Eighty five percent.”

 

 **10:30 am**  
“We doing this?” Chin waited for Steve’s nod and tore the envelope open. 

It held the record of page after page of phone numbers Danny had called lately; disposable cell after disposable cell. That was bad enough, but the ones they could trace led to the names of known smugglers- some convicted, some still fugitive.

“No,” Steve said. “There’s no way ….”

“We should have pushed him harder.” Chin sat back, looking remorseful. “Now what the hell do we do?”

“Hey,” Kono was in the doorway. “Anyone heard from Danny yet this morning?”

He wasn’t home, wasn’t answering his cell. They were debating the options, or more like rejecting them one by one, when Steve’s phone rang.

~~~~~

 **11:15 am- FBI office, Kapolei**  
The governor walked Steve past the situation room; six agents inside, watching a wall of monitors. 

“We’ll join them in a minute,” he said, handing Steve a folder full of photos. 

Steve took them, almost dropped them. If his nerves had been singing on the way over, they were screaming now.

“But I owe you an apology first… and my patience next time you break a rule. Because I broke one and it almost cost us dearly.”

Steve flipped through them all; pictures large, small, some color on photo stock and others grainy black and white on copy paper; he and Danny with family, with friends, at a barbeque, the Governor’s Ball last spring. And in every one of them they were smiling, touching, kissing. They were ‘them.’ 

It looked like forever ago.

“State fraternization law says no relationships between a supervisor and his or her direct report without notice and approval. You not notifying me officially meant you could lose your job.” Denning said. “We both know it and why I didn’t force it – ‘cause the only option I see is reassigning Danny. But me turning a blind eye was wrong. And it left you both vulnerable.”

“Blackmailers?” Steve asked and Denning nodded. 

“They thought he might be manipulated into being their tipster; tell them where cops and patrols would be at any given time- and where they wouldn’t be. They threatened to make all three of us look bad – right before primary season. Some cops might have taken the offer; it wasn’t like they asked him to kill or maim. They never dreamed the first thing he’d do was warn me.”

“Not the first thing,” Steve said. “First he made it so there was no relationship to report. So if some newspaper comes accusing you …”

“I can tell ‘em they bought bad info. If you’re apart, that handful of pictures is close to worthless.”

~~~~~

 **1:00 pm**  
There were twenty monitors in the FBI situation room, but Steve’s eyes were glued to the one with Danny on it. He was helping direct the takedown of the kingpin, the cuffing and the counting and the hauling men over to squad cars. 

He’d been given the honor for his help cracking the case—a case so touchy, the feds hadn’t even given the governor a single say.

_“Danny thought he’d come plead for your job, tell me to throw the book at him if need be and it’d be over in a week. He didn’t know these people had their hooks in three state workers and twice as many U.S. border agents, customs officials…” Denning had said._

Steve could see Danny shouting down at one of the prisoners lying on the ground, but couldn’t read his lips. It wasn’t the big fish – probably just the guy who’d tried to blackmail him. Who’d started all this.

_“If either of us told anyone… well, it wouldn’t be just his job or you that Danny lost. The agency isn’t messing around – these guys stole hundreds of millions from the tax coffers.”_

Steve flinched as he saw Danny pull back his leg to kick the suspect, let out a sigh of relief when he stopped himself and spun around. That was bad enough – but when Danny bent a little, hands going to his head, then stood and ran a sleeve under his eye… Steve had to leave the room.

~~~tbc~~~


	6. Pieces Back Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tried to end it happy, but not sappy. Hope this does it. :)

Steve thought he was dreaming about sleeping at his desk, head on his arms. Warm lips brushed his temple, kissed the spot where his jaw met his ear. 

He swam to conscious and found it wasn’t a dream. It was almost midnight.

“Some people go home after work. You know?”

Danny. Smiling at him. Eyes bright. His. 

“I knew you’d come here,” Steve sat back in his chair. “As soon as you could.”

Danny dropped in close again; his mouth so near it was an invitation. Steve cupped a hand behind his neck and pulled him in, kissed him slow and sleepy and he’d have kept going, but Danny stopped first. 

And there it was – happiness in his gaze, mixed with the tiniest hint of royally pissed off.

Yeah, Steve thought. Guess you can feel both things at the same time. He did, too.

~~~~~~

“You don’t trust me,” Steve said. 

Danny had brought coffee, snacks. He’d put his gear away, then pulled up two chairs.

“Oh, I trust you,” Danny was tracing randomly on Steve’s knee with his fingertips. It wasn’t a tease, just the simple desire to be touching. “I trust you to be so fucking reckless I don’t have any time to do anything about it before you crash us both into the rocks. So I go get us actual _help_ … and it turns out the feds are worse than the crooks. They said they’d see me in jail, you out of your job and teaching Criminal Justice 101 at a community college. I was _not_ having that.”

“If you’d told me first…”

“I know, I know….worst decision ever. And I’m sorry. But it kind of proves my point how you came charging in the second you figured something was up, confronting me, ordering my phone records,” Danny kept tracing but stopped talking for a second at Steve’s shocked expression. “Yeah, Chin told me. So you wouldn’t have to. You’re an ass, sometimes, you know this, right?”

“I thought if we could figure out what was going on ….” 

“If I’d died – if I got shot or something would you start up with someone three months later? ‘Cause that’s what it felt like; as if I’d died but was still here watching you move on with that…”

“So not fair, really not anywhere close to fair. I thought you’d changed your mind. _Jesus_ , Danny, I thought you never really….”

They both stopped, yesterday’s angry back and forth too fresh to want to go there again.

“So what do we do now?” Steve asked. 

“We each go home. Get a decent night’s sleep. Take it a day at a time. And Sunday we go to the zoo.” Danny smiled softly at the look that got him. “Grace called from London after the wedding. Said she’s perturbed- her word – that I’m not there with her and she hasn’t seen you in so long. She wants us all to go to the zoo when she gets home ‘cause, as she points out, nearly everyone is happy when they’re at the zoo. So… you in?”

~~~~~~~

Steve’s not sure when Grace ended up on his shoulders, but she’s there now for a better view of a baby elephant playing with its food, and she’s expounding loudly on how not fair it is that she gets in trouble for doing the exact same thing. 

“I think the difference is…” Steve waved toward the elephant, generally. “…you’re smarter than him. You’re supposed to know better.”

“Just because he doesn’t have a human vocal chord doesn’t mean he’s not smart. Maybe he is smarter than me. _Maybe_ he’s the smartest elephant in the whole world and he still likes to play with his food ‘cause that’s what kids do!” 

She’s really on a roll and Steve looks to Danny, wanting to ask with his eyes if he’s hearing this shit, hearing how much she sounds like her dad…. 

But he can’t, ‘cause Danny’s three steps behind, back to them. He’s struggling for air, for composure, fists deep in his pockets and it’s the moment Steve knows they’re all going to be fine. Soon.

~~~~~

“Soon” makes its first big appearance a week and a night later. They’re watching Monday Night Football at Steve’s and Danny nodded off at some point but now Steve feels he’s being stared at, looks left to see Danny still stretched out but awake, silently watching him watch the game.

“C’mon…” Danny’s leading them to Steve’s room, and they are quietly, slowly stripping each other in the dark.

And shit Danny’s running this show, pressing him down, slicking him, taking him slow and deep, an arm pulling him close.

“ _Mine_ ,” Danny whispers in his ear. “I know it’s not PC but… you know it now, right? I’m yours and your ass, beautiful, is mine.”

“Hell, yeah,” Steve starts thrusting back harder to shut him up. Danny’s onto him, tries to pin him down at the hips, and they’re laughing and twisting and wrestling for control of the fuck, climbing to the same hot, happy hill together.

There will be good days and bad days and no doubt they will bicker and fight and drive each other out of what’s left of their minds– but they’ll always be the one the other turns to first. And that’s that.


End file.
